My own rule number 1: Accept the things I can not change, change only what I can.
The rule is like that of the AA serenity prayer “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” Except I take “God” out of the equation. I need to see these things for myself. I need to make the effort to look for those moments, and not on anyone else.
The truth is ask yourself, “What can I really change and what can I not?” There is so much liberation in understanding what you can really change and what you can’t. For instance, the past. Immutable and etched in history. It does no good to worry about things you can not control, it does nothing to stress the things that can’t be changed. We are capable of changing only so much, if we focus on this, then we are able to take more control of our lives. In understanding what you can’t control, and you let go of it you end up with less burden, you realize what you can control in your life and you take action.
It is always hard to see it during life, remember rule number 1. Things come at you fast and you may not have time to look. But when all is said and done. Remember Rule number 1.