When you look around a room of strangers, and other people, you do judge them. You may not realize it, but in small ways you’re already judging someone by appearance, and/or actions. You’re making little notes inside you’re head about that person. Maybe they are date-able or not, maybe they are handsome, beautiful, or ugly. Maybe they scare you, frighten you, or maybe feelings are felt that are mutual, or understood. No matter what you’re making judgments. Making little opinions about those you’re willing to associate with, or not.
For some people, they may talk to you and in the conversation release details that you will judge. Decide on things about them. There is no hiding this fact, we all do it, it is part of our lives, and part of what we do. We will face others hoping to key ourselves towards directions we perceive to want. Such as the clean cut guy, or a dazzling girl. Maybe you’re the more thrill seeking and find those that present danger, or darkness. Maybe you’re looking across to the person at the other table and seeing how different they are from you, and think to yourself, “we have nothing in common.”
The point is you’re always making judgment. You’re always making decisions of who to talk to and not by these. Is this okay? In ways yes, and in ways no. Ways yes: If one person is in a dark alley and some vagrant comes out of the darkness, wearing a dirt soaked coat, and pants, his grizzly beard and hair matted with muck, you seek to avoid any problems so you avoid him. You turn down another alley in avoidance, you turn back, or step clear enough away. Ways of No: Because when you act on judgments, you close yourself off to others, and possible opportunities, you close your doors to different interpretations about life and everything that other individual sees. Sometimes these doors close easier to any stranger than just to ones that make you “uncomfortable”.
I have been judged many times, so many will see me and decide that I am a scary individual. I can’t help my facial features, or the intensity behind my eyes. Like someone who is scarred across the face, the scars present a different image to others. An image that is different than the inner self that individual may have, then again maybe he isn’t. You don’t know.
You don’t know who that person really is, you don’t know what thoughts are crossing behind their eyes and bouncing around their mind. You don’t know if they mean well or harm. You don’t know if they are trying to be a better individual or trying to survive by tearing everyone else down around them. You don’t know if they are seeking help, friendship, love, or their next victim. You don’t know who that person is that looks back. Yet you will decide based entirely on judgments.
You will decide who you will talk to, you will decide who you won’t, you will make decisions that can effect another, you will avoid or interact with them based on these judgments. So, the next time you’re walking down a street, riding a bus, or just somewhere that a lot of people are; look around, and be aware of your judgments. Be aware that although some individual may be frightening, you don’t know them.
I believe to judge a person’s past, is one of the worst. Someone informs you of what they did before, or what they did at some instance, or who they used to be. To make a judgment based on past events is entirely unfair. “Life isn’t fair,” a saying that parents often like to retort. “You can always try to make it as fair as possible,” was my reply. “Let he without sin, cast the first stone.” A saying used from Christianity, although most Christians throw first. We all have made mistakes in our pasts, things we wish we had done differently, things that went one way and you didn’t want that. Mistakes, to Error is Human. Yet how quickly we can forget when we are judging another. We see (or hear) other peoples mistakes and how quick are you to judge that?
We all can not escape the eyes of judgment, they peer back at you in the eyes of everyone around you. They peer at you making decisions, and believing they are right to do so. They are in the faces of the crowd around you, they are in the faces of the throngs of people that you pass by, or deal with daily. I don’t see judging as wrong, it is a natural function. It is acting on judgments without cause or reason that I believe is Bull-Shit. To act before you know who they are, avoidance, or fear, to cut off ties because someone doesn’t fit to your standard. Before you even know them. Just one thing to keep in mind the next time you go out…