Just some thoughts…

I have wondered how many times that we are really the one in the room that is aware. That is awake of surroundings without having to be, without trying to be, but then what would we be if not alone?

   As individuals we are required to participate in social norms having to deal with society. You could break the rules, go straight up to girls and say, “you wanna fuck.” But you’re not as likely to succeed in this endeavor unless you’re wealthy, handsome, or famous. Now clearly I don’t mean just being alone relationship wise, I mean how many friends do you have? Really? Imagine if you had none, that everyone around you is a stranger theres a sublime comfort in anonymity, but there is also the feeling the desire to attach to something. Anything that may seem like it will exist beyond ourselves. Or maybe something that defines ourselves, or maybe validates ourselves. What ever the reasons and why is not fully known but, we need attachments. We need people, we need to be out among them, to see them, to hear their words and to remember that they are just as alive as you, just as alone as you. 

      Keep away from people long enough, maybe you’ll break something that is needed. The moral codes that there are among them. You’ll also break mentally. You can’t be away, because you’ll loose your humanity to adapt. I have been separated, I hated and despised everything, just to burn it to ash beneath my own hate. What I hated consumed everything, and it burned in silence and hidden beneath masks. I wanted to destroy everything because I wanted it all done. What a dark road I traveled. Now, years after my mistakes, after my descent into Hell. I emerged a different man. I look around now and I am still alone, I still dread most people and feel contempt for many. But among them I see them who struggle, who somehow are just that damn lucky, and some who gave everything they could to be better people than others. All making little details of purity in little things. Those who don’t even know I know, who didn’t know I was paying attention. They are in the room with me, but they don’t know I was paying attention. I was looking for them. Are you? Are you one of them? Or are you one of the others?

   Are you paying attention? Who is the monsters in the room? I am almost sure they aren’t always likely to be who you think they are. What are monsters if not good at being monsters. Hidden, lurking around and preying. Hunting. They are out there, the prideful, arrogant, the deceitful, the betrayers, the leeches, the damned. No matter your demon it is what made them the monster. It is what made them into something else. Something far from humanity. 


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