I have been here before. The quiet emptiness of life and values. There isn’t anyone there. You are alone, despite that hope for understanding. Despite the efforts to reach out. Those eyes stare back at you with wild horror, or shock, or dread. You’re broken soul pieced together with superglue waiting to be smashed against the proverbial rocks.
Hang on cause the ride isn’t done. You get to see, to dream to imagine and feel almost alive. But it isn’t real, its all a mirage dancing before you because you wanted it to. You wanted something and as you reach out you distinguish it as false reality. A myth that bleeds away the moment you were supposed to touch it. Like all mirage and fantasy it is always in your desires. It is something you want but can’t have. It is something of a connection that will ground you to the world, and bring you back to life. Despite the figments of imaginations running away with your mind, you still desire these things.
Sadly, you will reach out again and again in a constant pathetic attempt. You will reach out for that connection, again and again. No matter how bad the sting, no matter how deep the wound. You will reach out again and again. For some, they will grasp onto a reality of it and pull it in, embracing what they wanted. For others they may spend all their lives reaching out and never tasting. Some dreams were never meant to be yours. Some hopes that you’ll have connected will prove to be false and you will fall and crumble beneath the weight.
The human body and mind, so resilient so incredible that it would endure copious amounts of pain and agony and still cling to threads of hope, dreams, and love, and life. So resilient but also so fragile. So easy to inflict pain. So easy to damage and wound, to scar and leave marks that are always reminders. Even the mental scars don’t heal right. Broken and alone, you climb your way up to your feet, and continue your journey. Alone, and broken. You will reach out again, such bravery, such courage to reach out again and again in what appears to be futile attempt. Or is it simply stupidity?