Learning To Choose

Do you find it difficult to make a choice? Do you wonder what it means? What you may actually want? Or how does anyone make a choice like this? There are so many choices in this world and according to some, that’s also part of the problem. So what does this mean, and how do I make a choice that is either hard, or easy? The answer isn’t as complex as it seems.

First, let me digress a tad by going back over that statement about choices and the variety of choices being a problem. The fact of this is found if you go to the supermarket (let’s say) and you were buying chips. There are so many varieties of chips. Sour Cream and Onion, Nacho Cheese, Tortilla, BBQ, etc. You consider your options, however no matter what option you seem to choose you always think, maybe I would’ve been happier with the other one. This is a downfall to variety in choices, however I disagree.

This is truth. You are never fully happy with your choices. No matter the choice you make. While even a choice that makes you happy can bring happiness, you don’t know if years later it will bring unhappiness, you don’t know if it will be a good choice always. Maybe it turns out to be. However, part of you will always argue that you could’ve made a better choice. So, how does someone make a choice?

Making choices can be difficult. However, even more difficult if lives or pressure is on the line. That makes making a decision harder. We can try to pretend that making a choice under these circumstances is easy but the truth is that even the most hardened and level minded can strain with this. So how do they do it? Let’s break it down.

In any problem as I always say, everything is a situation, so everything is situational. That being said, I recommend this piece of advice, focus on the solutions not the problem. That will help. You can’t decide on anything if you keep focusing on that problem and why it happened and what happened. You narrow your vision to the past, and the lie that you can some how change it. You can’t. The act has happened as it always does when it’s in the past. You can not change it so let that go.

Now, the next part is look at the scenario objectively. This is important. You may have emotion tied to it that will blind you. So try to set those aside. Anger, pain, depression, or fear are often the most common of blinders. These need to be set aside for a moment because no choice should be made on emotion alone. Step outside of that one sided perspective and think objectively. This isn’t easy and takes practice, but the fact is this will help you to resolve matters in a much better and more effective way.

The next area, look at the facts.  The response was said once, “Facts don’t care about your feelings”. I loved it, except I would change it to “Truth doesn’t care about how you feel.” The truth, or facts are always going to be correct, and unbias. It is what it is. We can’t really change that the tree’s leaves are green, we can’t change that our sun emits light particles called photons. This is facts. Always look at the facts surrounding a situation. Facts are the ground for which people stand on.

When regarding the facts, be unbiased. Think from the enemy perspective, think in your own, and maybe just think about from outside. The truth of things can become clear if you lay down what you don’t know and hold up the facts. The fact that this scenario is occurring is a start. From there lay them out, I like to work backwards, from occurrence and back. Laying out the factual and the evidence of facts as I go.

This brings me to the next part of making a choice, weighing the evidence and probabilities. When you consider the facts, weigh in on the plausibility of the questions, and reactions. Lay out the concerns and likelihoods of outcomes. The weighing of fact and what is speculative can help anyone come to what would be considered a measured decision. This is important because if we disregard the facts, we make rash judgmental decisions. Where as the facts and assumptions are weighed and countered with deliberation inside our minds.

The last, is the most important step. Speculate the possible outcomes. This is hugely important when making a decision. It’s easy when it matters, but the truth is all choices matter and even the ones we don’t think about can have drastic consequences. For instance if Tiffany held a bag of weed for her friend at School, it may not seem a big deal unless Tiffany was caught with it. Then the outcome has changed the value of the original choice.

If Tiffany had instead speculated possible outcomes, weighed the evidence and probabilities, she could see that maybe was not her best choice and chose differently. The fact that she didn’t think of the outcomes shows an uncaring nature of the choices she makes and so she will deal with those consequences regardless, but the truth is she may not really want to deal with those consequences. Hence looking ahead and plotting out the possible outcomes and understanding that may lead her down a road she didn’t want could be averted.

However, this isn’t always the case. Even the most sound rational choice, with solid planning and careful deliberation, can even be the wrong choice. So the last and final point to making a choice is this. Accept your choices. You must accept your choices as you made them. You may not know the future of the path, but if you followed those steps prior to the choice, you may avert more potential bad choices.

Accepting your choices is like accepting that the past is the past. There’s nothing you can do about it but learn from it. Learn from the choices you made wrong. Learn from life and what it teaches you because it has a thousand lessons and more coming. The whole point is to learn choice. To choose with a complete understanding of your own freedom to make that choice regardless of laws, society, or others. You make your own decision and you should stand by your decisions, even if you made the wrong one.


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